I was thinking today about how sad it is that Ethan will never know his Grandma Sue (she would have hated that name!) That is beyond my control. Completely. It is much sadder that he will never know his uncle. It dawned on me today just how messed up that is. To deny a little boy the closest living relative (other than his parents) because you disagree with his mother's lifestyle choices (i.e. not being rich and egotistical). It dawned on me that Ethan will never sit around the table and get to ask his uncle what his Grandma was like when he was growing up. What music did she listen to? What was her favorite book? He won't be able to ask how his Mom was as a little girl, either. Sure, he has me to tell him things like this. But it is not the same. Now I have the dilemma, as he gets older, of explaining to him why his uncle does not want anything to do with him. The problem is, I haven't a clue. My other option is to pretend like his uncle does not exist. That is the easier option for me. Out of sight, out of mind. I know that I will never live up to Trey's expectations of me. At least I hope that I don't. I have no desire to be anything like him. We have never been close. I don't expect it. But to punish Ethan for not liking me is just disgusting. No, Ethan will not know he has an Uncle trey. His uncle does not deserve to be recognized. And he certainly does not deserve the opportunity to hurt him and alienate him the way he has me. He does not deserve to know Ethan. Ethan deserves better.
