This day

You know, I should be in such a bad mood right now.  I had to leave a day early and stay in a hotel because of weather. My flight was delayed today. My connecting flight pulled out of the gate and waved goodbye to me as I stood and watched helplessly. And now I am in a mediocre hotel with crappy food (but a nice bed) waiting until tomorrow when I can finally get to my family and a stress free week. I should be irritated, but I am not. I can see my two best guys sleeping peacefully on the bed (did I mention it is nice and big) and nothing else in the world matters to me. Tonight we told Ethan "night night, Ethan".  He looked back at us and plain as day "nigh nigh" "nigh nigh" Melted my heart. Touched the very core of my soul, really. Made me give a silent thumbs up to God.  He gave me such a special little boy. So smart and sweet.  Full of wonder and amazement. So, I am not sad or mad or stressed out tonight.  I am thankful for this night with him. Snuggling up close to me.  His little chest going up and down. Clinging to his piggy.
 He is content. So I am.

SLEEPING ON THE JOB!

BLOG WILL RETURN SOON

Welcome back!

Okay, so it's been awhile.  But, in my defense, it seems like a lot longer to me than it does to you.  We have had some kind of "phase" with Ethan.  And Lord only knows if it is over or on hiatus or what.  We actually moved his crib into our room to try and get him to sleep so we could sleep.  Last night was a good night.  He slept.  But there was still that feeling all night that it was NOT going to be a good night.  So I still did not sleep well.  It would take many a night like last night (in a row) for me to relax enough to fall into a deep sleep.  It will come.  I assume.  He is getting more precocious by the day.  Running and dancing and demanding and pouting.  He definitely has a mind of his own.  And he knows what he wants.  He tests me. "no no Ethan" *grin*giggle* repeats the action. "NO NO ETHAN" *whine* repeats again." I SAID NO NO ETHAN" *loud wail* followed by him finding something else to do that starts the whole process over again. We repeat this several (dozen) times a day.  And the kid is OBSESSED with the outdoors. He walks over to every door in the house at least 3 times an hour and bangs on it. "let me out" he says with his eyes.  I take him on walks.  And to the park.  And to see Dada and Grandpa.  Anything to get him outside. But it is getting cold lately.  And he refuses to keep his hat on.  I will add that to my checklist of things to work on with him.  Unfortunately it is about number 123 on said list.  With Winter coming I may need to bump it up to 3 or 4.  Right after getting him to sleep at night, getting him to eat at all, and teaching him his multiplication tables.  Okay, so number three is just a joke. . .kind of.  I have a better chance of him reciting them than I do of getting him to eat or sleep, so I figure I will keep it on the list.  He may be tired and hungry, but he sure does not slow down to do either of the things that would remedy it.  Always running or sucking on a bottle.  Or running AND sucking on a bottle.  This stinking bottle debacle will be the end of me.  And then there is me locking him the car at the gas station today. . .but that will have to wait until tomorrow.  I have a mid term coming up.  And I need to study before Ethan wakes up tonight. . .ahhh maybe he will sleep until morning. Oops,just jinxed it!

Prayers, please

Can we puh lease invent something to calm and soothe teething babies.  No, something that actually works?  Between the teeth, the busted lip ,and the bit tongue, the Jacobson's are one worn out family.  Ethan has reverted back to waking up 4 times a night wanting a bottle.  He has not done that in like 6 months.  So frustrating.  And no end in sight.  Now he has decided, today, that he does not want to nap even though he cannot hold his eyes open.  He lays in his crib screaming this alien scream.  When you pick him up it makes it worse.  Tired, cranky, and in pain.  And I 'm sure Ethan feels that way as well.  Lord, give me the strength. . . .

Time flies

Well,  the time is finally here.  My baby is turning one year old tomorrow.  Wow, this time last year I was headed to the hospital in labor.  I remember my water breaking and me not being 100% positive.  I called the Family Birth Place and described it and they were like "Um, yeah, you should probably start thinking about getting over here. . ."  Nathan and Jake were grilling food.  I pulled Nathan to the side and let him know that my water broke, but that they could finish eating before we left for the hospital.  Funny, I don't recall experiencing any pain until I got the hospital.  And then, you better believe, I was epidural bound!  Long story short, my amazingly beautiful (no, really. . he was a good looking newborn) son was born at 7:07 A.M. on September 28, 2009.  The day that would change my life forever.  You can try and prepare for a baby.  You buy clothes and diapers and a crib.  You read books and practice breathing.  You take CPR and learn how to properly put on a diaper.  What you do not do, though, is prepare for the sheer amount of love you will have for this little person.  Nothing else matters.   You eat, sleep, breathe this beautiful baby.  Is he breathing?  Is he hot?  Is he cold?  Is he still breathing?  Should we try and feed him?  Do you think he needs to sleep more?  You sure he is breathing? You spend hours rocking and consoling and rocking some more. And making sure he is breathing.  He is so tiny.  A blob.  And then things start to change.  He smiles.  He laughs.  He sits up.  He eats solid food.  He crawls.  He walks.  He develops a mind of his own.  You realize he is okay without you some of the time.  You act like you don't realize that he is okay without you some of the time.
You go to put him to bed and he rolls over, grabs a blankie, closes his eyes, and goes to sleep.  No rocking.  No bedtime ritual involving a thousand kisses and trilling at his bird mobile.  You look over at him one day and he looks back at you and understands you.  He camps out by the door, waiting for it to open so he can escape to the big world on the other side. He pulls his hand away from yours and starts running down the sidewalk.  Without stopping or looking back to make sure you are still there.  He is running free. *bang* *splat!* He falls.  He looks around for you.  "ah" you think "he will come to me now" Nope, he gets back up and starts truckin' again. He is determined to be independent.  (He is determined to run me crazy)
Oh, how time flies.  My baby is turning one year old tomorrow.  And I think I just found my first grey hair.

Just a thought

It is hard to believe that my little baby is a little boy now.  He has thoughts of his own.  He has likes and dislikes. He has these wheels that turn in his head..like he is thinking about something before he says or does it.  I looked over at him the other day and he was looking back at me with this look of understanding on his face.  It took me aback a little.  okay, it freaked me out.  Where does he get off thinking for himself?  I didn't give him permission to do that yet.  I know it is time.  He is almost a year old.  Yeah, yeah. Whatever.  He is still my baby.  Mine.  The world cannot have him yet.  Anyway, I will be back tomorrow with all the party info and pictures!  Just had to vent a little.

Shake it up Baby

Ethan decided, for a few minutes last night, to become a kissy monster.  I went to put him to bed and he decided (to extend his wake time, probably) he was going to give me a thousand kisses.  Up one arm and down the other.  On this cheek, then that cheek..better get the mouth while I'm at it. Ooo, her neck looks good to try and kiss. That arm looks better than this arm.  Better have another go at it.  He gave me kisses for five minutes straight.  It made my day.
However, the fact that he is waking up during the night again is NOT.
And the Mighty No-Napper is back again.  Too much to do, too little time. I guess.  I know how he feels.
He is the cutest darn thing I have ever seen, though.  Walking around the house, squealing so loud his whole body shakes.  He get so excited over I don't know what. Everything. And nothing.  He pauses periodically to practice his dancing (the leg bend and sway) when he hears music coming from the TV.  Every times he sways, he glances over at me to make sure I am watching. Look at me! See how cute I am! We smile at each other in agreement of this fact and he toddles off to some other part of the house in search of a cord to chew on (no, I don't let him).  Even through his Meany Molar stage, he seems to be keeping his sense of humor. This is a good thing.  For both of us.
AND, I got my new(used) car on Friday.  I love it!  But you know me, I don't want to get too attached.  It will take a while for me to trust this new one.  I had my other one for a long time.  13 years.  Ever since my mom died.  That is a long time to have something and then just hand it over to someone else.  Okay.  So the car is being used by Nathan.  And he pointed out that I can still visit with it every night when he gets home from work.  And I can take her out for a spin anytime I want.  That is at least some consolation. Not much, but some.  That car has taken me on many different journeys through life.  Some better than others.  But it has always been there.  Never broken down.  Never quit on me.  Never abandoned me.  It is hard to relinquish that to anyone.  Even my wonderful husband.
On the other hand...he ain't taking the Subaru!

Do they make Xanax for cats?

Ethan has finally learned how to stand up by himself.  And I think Marley is having an anxiety attack every half hour or so.  But, I mean, did she really think this day would never come?   Now that he can stand up by himself, Marley has little means of escape.  Before, when he got moving too fast, he would fall and have to crawl over to something to drag himself up on.  This gave Marley enough time to formulate a plan and at least begin to enact it before Ethan could waddle back over to her.  Not anymore!  If he falls (which he does not do very often-it seems that once he learned how to stand up alone, he quit falling as much) he just stands himself back up and keeps going.  Marley has no time to think.  She runs this way.  That way.  Under the table, across the room. . .but he keeps coming and she does not know what to do so she jumps on the couch and then off the couch and runs into the kitchen and out of the kitchen and finally into the bedroom and under the bed. WHEW! Safe!  Not so fast.  Ethan has gotten down as low as he can go and is reaching under the bed.   Stretching his arm. . ..Almost...have...the ...tail....
It won't be long now.  I will be writing about how Ethan finally got Marley's tail and would not let go.  About how Marley finally had to chew her own tail off so she could escape him.  It will be an adventurous tale (no pun intended), for sure.  For now, though, his little arms are a bit too short.  And Marley has her safety zone.  But who knows about tomorrow.  Ethan could have grown an inch by then.

"I Just Called To Say I Love You"

I had a good day today with my little monkey man.  I woke up this morning feeling a little under the weather,but once the day got going I felt much better.  Ethan was so pleasant to be around today.  He kept toddling over to me giving me hugs and kisses all day.  He was a busy body (walking from room to room to room to room).  It was entertaining to say the least.  I especially liked when he would go into his room to play with his activity table.  He has this thing he does now.  He will walk over and turn the page on the "book" to where it makes music instead of saying things.  He then starts pressing the piano keys to make music and starts rocking his little legs back and forth to the beat.  I suppose he go that from me.  Every time music starts playing anywhere, I get up and start dancing.  I have for a long time now, trying to get him to do it.  He finally picked up on it.  And I have to say it is the cutes thing ever to see him swaying back and forth, smile on his face, head thrown back staring at the ceiling and then at me and then back at the ceiling.  I call it his "Stevie Wonder" impression.  He is pretty good at it.  We also went to the park.  He had fun walking around grabbing on to everything.  It was pretty hot outside today, so we could only stay about 20 minutes.  He had 2 decent naps and has now been asleep for 3 hours.  I just finished up studying and now it is time for bed.  I hope tomorrow is as fun as today. And, if not, there is always the next day to look forward to.

Sherlock Holmes

So, I had to study all week for my Anatomy exam.  But I am back now!

Ethan is still as cute as ever.  Walking around the house with a satisfied look on his face.  He is so cute in the mornings when he wakes up.  He wants to be picked up and hugged and kissed and then he wants to hit he ground running,  When I put him down, he always takes a couple of tentative steps (to make sure he remembers how, I'm sure) and then off he goes!  *pitter* patter*pitter*patter*  He has to go to every part of the house inspecting it inch by inch.  He has to make sure it is exactly how he left it the night before.  Of course, it isn't.  His toys are put away.  He promptly remedies this, let me tell you.  Usually our bedroom door is closed first thing in the morning, as well.  He does NOT approve of this either.  He will go and push on the door incessantly until we open it and let him in to the "wonderland" on the other side.  He then inspects every inch of the room, including squatting down as low as he can go to look under the bed for the "kitty kitty". (he does this frequently throughout the day-he just HAS to know where Marley is at all times). Finally, after he is satisfied that he has covered every inch, investigated every speck on the floor, and located Marley's whereabouts, he settles down to drink some milk and prepare himself for the day.
Of course, by this time he has tired himself out so much he is almost ready for a nap!

SHORT HIATUS DUE TO ANATOMY EXAM THIS WEEKEND

This is only a test. . .

Today was good.  Ethan practiced walking.  He goes one day crawling a lot and the next day walking a lot.  He cannot make up his mind which one works better for him.  Today was walking.  He walked around the house.  He walked around the yard.  He went on a walking adventure in Target.  Man, he loved that!  He was under the impression that they made that big space full of all sorts of goodies just for him.  I had to burst that bubble.  Or try.  It went something like this:

Ethan grabbed something he should not have.
"No, no Ethan"
*reaches for it again*
"NO NO Ethan"
*reaches for it again*
 I take his hand away from it "no no"
"ahhhhhh" * wimper*  "AHHHHHHH!!!!!"
* head shake*  firm voice "Uh-Uh, buddy"
*confused look*  *half smile*  "AHHHHHHH!!!!" *giggle*  "AHHHHHHEEEE!!!"

Technically it was not a temper tantrum, but it sure was loud and obnoxious.
People walked by and smiled or chuckled.  And, I mean, honestly that just egged him on.
"Aheee" *trill* "aheeeuhhhaaaa"
I understand the smiles.  I get it, it is cute in a way, but am I the only one who can see this turning ugly real quick? And he is loud.  I mean LOUD.  (Needless to say, we are working on the store etiquette.)
 On the bright side,though,  who would have thought a trip to Target could be so entertaining/embarrassing/adventuresome/absolutely perfect.
All in a days work for my little explorer.  All in a day's work.

No rest for the weary

Another wonderful day with Ethan and Dada.  He grows up so much every single day.  It is amazing to watch him.  Today was my study day.  He was not too happy about that, I can tell you.  Whenever I would close the the door, he would come banging.  He and Dada did have some fun...I could hear them giggling in the next room and it made me jealous. I did sneak out there a couple of times. I know! Study, study, study.  After all, I am doing this so he can have a better life.  Always have to keep the perspective when I get a little overwhelmed.  I am one step closer to understanding what I will be tested on next weekend in Anatomy & Physiology. For that, I am thankful.  Now off to do Comp 101.
*yawn*

This is the life

When I think back on my childhood, it all seems like a weird dream.  I don't think it existed in the magical way I choose to remember it.  I guess it doesn't really matter how it was, as long as my memories are all warm and fuzzy.  That is what I want for Ethan.  To look back and remember a magical place filled with warm fuzzies.
We went to the park yesterday. Oh what a difference a few days make.  Now that he can walk, he has a whole new lease on life (and the park).  He just walked around and around, holding mama's hand (some of the time) and exploring every inch of that green paradise.  He examined sticks.  He inspected blades of grass. He splashed in rain puddles.  He tried (to mama's chagrin) to make friends with the ants.  On two separate occasions we had incidences with rocks (let's just say a trip to the E.R. was barely averted...TWICE).  He met a little girl who caught his eye and was quite smitten until I reminded him that 5 months is WAY too young for him.  What did they have in common?  He is a walker, she cannot even crawl yet. He knows at least 4 words.  She can only babble.  After much persuading, he agreed and we made our way to the other end of the park.  No need for unnecessary distractions. There was a lot of park to cover and precious little time.   All in all, the park was such a new experience for him(and me).We laughed. We cried. We had about 20 Uh-Oh's. Got 4 scratches.  And 1 big Ow-ee that resulted in a bruise on his cheek. Man, it is amazing how much they change once walking is introduced into the equation.  It is like a little light bulb goes off and they realize "hey! there is a whole world out there...get me outta this house...let's go go go. . .who has time for naps?!?"
  I am excited for the day.  We have a little shopping to do.  We have a little laundry to do.  And maybe we will have a picnic for lunch.  As long as that little Lolita stays on her side of the park. . .

Where did my baby go?

Putting Ethan to bed last night, I realized how big he is getting.  He is not my baby anymore, that is for sure.  He started the finger wag yesterday.  I always wag my finger at him when I say "no no".  I wag it a something that he falls and hurts himself on when I say "bad" (such as "bad wall", or "bad Marley").  He now imitates me. Telling ME "no" is right around the corner for him, I am sure.  He also tried to crawl out of his crib last night as he was going to bed.  Way too small for that,yet.  But again,just around the corner.  And now when he knows he is doing something wrong, he will look at me and smile.  When I say "no no" again, he laughs.  When I swat his little hand (okay, I barely touch him,but it is the thought that counts. Right?!?!) he laughs HARDER.  He thinks it is a game.  I try to keep a straight face.  I really do.  I definitely need to work on my discipline skills here soon.  I don't want one of "those" babies.  And he has some definite "those baby" potential right now.  The way he throws a tantrum at even the thought of not getting his way. Oy Vay!  I am sure I will figure it out. Hopefully sooner rather than later.  Because he is asserting himself more and more every day.  I am not sure where that comes from. . .

Whoa,Horsey

So, we finally baby-proofed our bedroom.  This morning the baby gate came down (in a ceremony similar to a grand opening) and Ethan was off to the races.  Inspecting every element of the room,making sure he touched and picked up everything not attached to the wall or too heavy.  He was seriously grinning from ear to ear.  He would leave the room and come back in,just to make sure we weren't playing a cruel joke on him. *giggle* *giggle* He is so used to looking at this room from behind that gate, I think he thought he would never gain access.  Now that he has it, I am not sure he will want to be anywhere else for a while.  I just put him down for his nap.  Let me tell you,he was not happy.  He wanted to be in his new play room.  Chasing Marley under the bed.  Flipping through mama's books. Walking around the bed.  I have a sneaking suspicion that he will slowly start to bring his favorite toys in here one by one and "forget them" so he has a reason to come back.  Or maybe the novelty will wear off and he will forget about this once forbidden kingdom.  He will fall back into his routine of hanging out in the living room and kitchen (and every now & then the nursery".  Who knows with his little mind working a hundred miles an hour.
On another note, he wants to try and walk EVERYWHERE.  Crawling is a last resort these days.  He is so determined.  He has gotten braver and braver.  No more "two steps" and *splat* butt hitting the floor.  No, this ambitious fella looks at something clear across the room and musters up all his courage (you can see it in his face) and slowly begins.  Now, if he starts to wobble, he tries to steady himself in one of two ways.  The most effective way is when he stops and balances himself.  He waits for his body to stop swaying side to side and then slowly begins again.  Sometimes, however, he just does not have time for this method.  So, he opts for method two.  I like to call it the "giddy up".  He, in mid stride, will jump up like he is going to clack his heals together and break into a half run.  While entertaining to watch, this method is so ineffective that I am not sure why he continues to repeat it.  He always falls immediately after the "run" begins.  And he almost always does a face plant when he falls.  But then he is right back up again.  We start the process all over.

*steady*step*step*wobble*GIDDYUP*splat*
*steady*step*step*wobble*GIDDYUP*splat*

I want to explain to him why he should stick with the first method.  Why it is better and  makes more sense.  But I know he would look at me like he does not understand and keep on doing it his way.  I don't think I am ready for that treatment just yet.  I am sure it will be a daily in occurrence in the years to come.  But for right now, I will just let him work it out for himself.  One step at a time.

Knock, Knock. . .Who's there?

I believe Mr. Molar may be about to rear his ugly head (and by that I mean his sharp points).  Ethan keeps waking up and when I go in there, his head is soaking wet.  I assume it is from the drool pouring out of his mouth like a mountain waterfall in early spring (okay, I am trying to say he has a lot of flipping drool).  At first I thought he was sweating.  But it was not hot in his room and his skin was not warm.  Then I went to thoughts of excessive spit up, but I smelled it (yes, I smelled his wet matted hair).  Again,no go.  No smell of milk,rotten milk or combination of the two.  I felt around in his crib and found a huge wet spot.  Maybe his diaper was loose and he had an "accident".  But when I picked him up he was all dry (except his head).  Finally, I had to come to the conclusion that it was drool.  What else could it be.  Clue #1: The drooling definitely picked up today.  And (clue #2) he only took one and a half naps. And (clue #3) he won't eat solid food. Even his Goldfish have been put on the naughty list. He really on wants a bottle lately(clue #4). I mean, he is happy enough during the day (because he can practice his walking), but the way he tried to eat his fingers, and toes,and my toes,and dada's toes, and anything else long and squishy he can fit in his mouth. . .something is going on(like clue #5).  Yes, my little toddler (hee hee-toddler) is cutting his molars. . .and I am in for a lot of restless nights.  And I am sure some long days,too. Speaking of long nights, I need to rest before our next go around.  Wish should be right about. . .now.

Intermission/Study Day

Will return Sunday

Sweet Baby

It is amazing to me how much Ethan has grown.  Is that little person the same blob I brought home from the hospital?  All I know is that looking back on first few months, it all seems worth it.  The sleepless nights.  The crying (his AND mine).  The constant feeling of fear and confusion. "Am I doing this right?"  "Is he still breathing?!?"  These things seem like a different lifetime.  Did you know that he actually talks to me now.  Not in real words,but in his own language.  He has "words" and sounds for me (mama), Nathan (dadadada), Marley (keekeeekeekee), and my favorite is the sound he makes when he is curious about something or trying to figure something out (huh. . .huh. . . huh).  He is walking (sometimes) better.  He is just so smart I can't stand it.  He can figure out how to maneuver a toy unstuck.  He can call Marley.  And,oh, the devilish smile he gives me when he knows he is doing something wrong.  I tell him "no,no!" and he looks at me and grins ear to ear with those precious little baby teeth.  He will hold that smile until I can't help but smile back.  He knows how to get his way.  He knows he has mama wrapped around that cute perfect little finger of his.  He has developed a million different looks.  Every one of them as cute as the last.  He gives me kisses.  And lays his head down in my lap for me to rub his head.  He sleeps through the night and wakes up in the best mood.  Ready to "wow" the world some more with is awesomeness.
Obviously I am biased,but I think I have the best little boy in the world!  And pity to anyone who tells me different!

Dang Freud and his stupid slips

Okay, so we are on nap number three of the day.  We had breakfast (waffles), a snack (goldfish,mango and cookie),and lunch(BBQ pork,cheese,and peach-seems like he needs lots of veggies tonight).  Only one dose of Tylenol.  Two new toys (ordered a while back,just got here).  And a weird obsession with any pen I try to take notes with.  I have been able to study some while he has occupied himself with examining (very carefully) one of his new toys.  The toy is called the Super Spiral Play Tower.  If you want to know more about it, you will have to Google it because it is too difficult to explain.  I WILL say there is a penguin and a frog involved.  (the other toy is a Fisher Price Learning Workbench)  He could care less about actually playing with it. Nope not my little inquisitor.  He bangs it around. Against the floor. Against the wall.  Against Marley if she does not run fast enough. ("what is this thing? it makes a funny noise when I hit it on the floor". *giggle*) He likes turning it over and inspecting all the little screws on the bottom. I am sure he is trying to figure out how to get them out of the toy and into his mouth.   I say it so nonchalantly now,but one day he will grin at me with a mouth full of metal and I will poop my pants.  (Just telling it like it is, y'all)  So anyway, got some studying done. Got the little guy fed and rested.  When he wakes up, we will go on a short walk (too hot for anything else).  Then play time until Dada gets home.  All in all, I would say it has been a pretty good day at the Jacobson's...so far.
Let's cross our fingers for a restless night.  Ha! Freudian slip. RESTFUL night.
Oh,goodness. I have gone and done it now!

Stranger Danger

I was at the grocery store today and some older gentleman came by and tussled Ethan's hair and exclaimed "I have more hair than you do,sonny boy. Haha!" and kept walking.  It made me wonder what makes people think that people's children are fair game in the grocery store?  It is like a little magical world where people are allowed to paw your children and laugh about it.  And don't even get me started on being a pregnant woman in a grocery store.  Do I look like I am going to pop a genie out of me? then stop rubbing my belly! (that is what went through my mind,anyway. well, that and a lot of 4 letter words)  Anyway,back to the point.  If some stranger walked up to your child in, let's say, a park and started touching them or asking to hold them or just randomly playing with them, you would go into attack mode. . .mother bear and cub mode. . .stranger danger mode.  But in a grocery store,oh no. . .people just walk right up and start playing with your kid and you are supposed to smile and think it is all innocent fun.  But I don't know if you are a pervert.  Or on the sex offender website.  Or just a creepy old man. So keep your paws to yourself.  *smile* Please.

Change of Plans

So just when I thought we had little man's night time routine figured out, he goes and throws me for a loop. Tonight was interesting. Dada was tired and achy after a long day at work, so I gave Ethan his bath and put on his PJ's. He graduated to Big Boy PJ's today (no feet in these suckers!).  Okay, all seems pretty routine, nothing much out of the ordinary.  He throws Mr Monkey and his pacifier out. And here is where we took a little detour.  He preceded to walk from one end of the crib (look! no hands,ma) to the other for about 5 minutes. Then he collapsed from exhaustion onto the mattress where he folded himself in half and started gnawing his toes through his sock.  Smacking his lips together after each nibble. This continued for a few minutes until he bit down too hard and decided that was the end of that.   Finally, he is calming down.  We do the belly to bed thrashing foot maneuver (see previous post) and now I am starting to think we are near sleep.  Oh, no.  Not this energizer bunny.  He springs back up for a few more attempts across the bed.  Then he leans against the railing,turns around and throws his head back to stare at the ceiling for a while. Mouth open gaping like he is at an air show.  He then gingerly lowers himself to the mattress,lays his head down and *ahhhh* closes his eyes. Where in the world did THAT come from?  Oh well, it sure was entertaining!

Fairy Tale

It's official, Ethan is getting a molar. Left side bottom. Needless to say i have purchased Tylenol,Ibuprofun, and Hyland's teething tablets.  Lord help me now.  He already chewed on everything. Now he chews on ANY and EVERY thing.  Nothing is off limits to his mouth.  Tags from clothes,my arm,my fingers,his arm, his fingers. I cannot be sure,but I think he tried to chew Marley's tail this morning. She had the sense enough to run before it hit his mouth.  And his teeth are sharp.  Little piranha teeth gnawing away.  I am constantly digging stuff out of his mouth.  I will be lucky if I can survive this stage without having a heart attack.  Why isn't their a teething fairy?  Just for parents of children who are cutting teeth.  Oh, how nice it would be for them to swoop down and leave the perfect teether under my pillow one night.  Or better yet, just wave her magic wand and *poof* the tooth is in!  Hey, a person can dream, okay.   On the plus side, he gained some weight.  He is up to 19.5 lbs.  (I hope it is from food and not the inanimate objects he keeps picking up off the floor) Also he is growing taller. 31 " now. He is my big boy!  My big cranky boy with lots of drool.  And a hankering for something to chew on.  

Epiphany

I just had an epiphany while putting Ethan to bed.  His security object is ME.  He does not need anything else because he has ME all day and night.  I am his "wubbie".  Whatever he needs me for, I am always near for him to cling to.  Sometimes it is just him coming over to touch me. Sometimes he needs to hug me close.  And sometimes he needs to drag me around the house for a while.   But mostly he needs to see that I am there.  I see him glancing over at me out of the corner of his eye to make sure I am still close by.  Always mindful when I leave the room and when I return.  When he goes to bed at night, he needs to know that I am in the room while he falls asleep and when he wakes up in the morning he needs to see me to start the day out right.  I know that eventually I will have to take his "wubbie" away (figuratively, not literally). But for right now, I will be right here waiting for him when he needs me.  Because,honestly, I enjoy his attention.  I admit it.  He is my "wubbie" too.

Did I just jinx myself?

Ethan is back to being the Mighty No-Napper.  The last few days he will go go go and never slow down.  I'm talking about napping maybe a total of 1.5 hours a day (where he gets up at 5:30am and stays awake until 6:30 or 7:00).  I am not sure why. We blame it on   "development".  We blame a lot of things on him "developing".  It is our favorite excuse for any behavior we aren't familiar with and don't particularly care for.  "Ethan is waking up a lot theses days". . ."It's developmental".  "Ethan is not napping well". . ".it's developmental".  "Ethan likes to bite mama really hard". . ."It's developmental".  I think what that really means is that we hope he grows out of it (soon).  All in all, though, he is a pretty mild tempered child.  Yesterday we took him to look at the car we are buying. We met up with some friends for lunch. As usual, he was pretty chill in the restaurant.  He just watches everyone, craning his neck in ways that would probably break mine.  He throws his toys on the ground,of course . But, I mean, to him, that is where they belong.  He eats whatever we are eating and really only complains if we taunt him with a fork.  He doesn't understand why we wave it back and forth from our mouths to the big shiny white thing without letting him get a closer look.  It is understandable how this would frustrate him.  It is,after all, his right to inspect all items in his sight.  Especially if they are not readily handed to him.  He is a quick little fella and will have that fork off your plate and halfway down his throat if you glance away for even a second.  But,all in all,he is well behaved in public places.  No loud screaming or throwing things across the room.  He is more of a sponge, soaking it all in.  I am sure now that I have bragged about it that it will all change overnight.  And tomorrow he will turn into a food slinging, temper-tantrum throwing, banshee- sounding hellion.  But for right now, I can honestly say, he is my little angel.
In public,that is.

Better late than never

Sorry so late.
First things first.. .Ethan has learned to click his tongue. So cute.
Also,he took 4 steps with no assistance today.
We are very proud of him!

Okay,so now the bad news.  Someone called me "ma'am" today.  I don't know who he thinks he is.  What did I ever do to him?  I am NOT old enough for that kind of respect.  And another thing,when did teenagers start looking like 10 year olds. I swear! I mean I have underwear older than some of the checkers at my grocery store.  Do I look like their mother? Oh,wait. . .I AM some one's mom.
Wow,this is a lot to digest.  I. . .AM. . .A. . .MOTHER.  I have a child.  Who depends on me. Who loves me.  Who wants to be around me (for right now).  I am a mother.  Eh,that sounds too bizarre.  Doesn't that sound weird. I  am to Ethan what my mom was to me.  I am his security.  That is a pretty big responsibility.  Wow, I feel so mature right now. Huh, I'm a mom.  It's growing on me.  I can dig it.  Yeah.
But I am still not old enough to be called "ma'am".

More on my little man (and less ranting-I promise) tomorrow!
Goodnight.

Night Night

Okay, I know I said I was tired,but i got to thinking. . .
Ethan has the strangest bedtime routine.  It all begins normal enough. Dada and I tag team him.  He takes a bath.  Lately he is in to bubble baths because he likes to try and eat the bubbles.  Then comes getting his diaper and PJ's on.  Usually he drinks his bottle during this time (hey,you try not giving it to him).  After that, Dada hands him off to me and leaves the room (after  a couple of rounds of peek a boo from behind the door).  From there I put him in his crib.  Now this is where it gets bizarre.  He stands up and surveys the crib.  He then, one by one, removes everything in it.  First to go is his pacifier. Next on the chopping block is Mr. Monkey.  Most nights Pooh is safe,but every so often he takes the plunge too.  He then drops to his knees, satisfied that all of the unnecessary clutter is gone, and crawls over to the bars.  He presses his face against them and waits for me to give him kisses.  Once this happens, he turns into what I can only describe as a drunk rhinoceros. He tucks his head down and charges (unsteadily) from one end of the crib to the other.  back and forth. back and forth.  Once he is convinced, i guess, that the bars will hold, he collapses flat on his tummy and kicks one leg a couple of times.  Okay, now time for more kisses. He then trills at his bird mobile. I am assuming he is telling them goodnight,but I cannot be sure because I speak neither Ethan nor bird.  Finally, after every bit of energy is expended from his little body, he rolls over to the side of the crib. One more kiss. He sticks one leg out through the bars,closes his eyes and ,ahhhhh,relaxes.  For the next couple of minutes he will sporadically yank his head up to see if I am still there. Then back down.  And that,my friends,is when the sleep begins.
Now don't get me wrong. I have no complaints.  He tires himself out so much he sleeps 11 or 12 hours. You can't get any better than that in an 11 month old.
Hmm, I think tomorrow I may bring popcorn.

And so it begins

I finally got my laptop set up. Whew,what a process.

So, I was watching Barney earlier and they were singing this really annoying song (imagine that) about blankies and it got me to thinking that Ethan does not have a security blanket. Or stuffed animal. Or object of any kind.  I mean he likes to chew on his pacifier, but only at bedtime and he has to throw it out of the crib before he can settle down to sleep so I don't think I can "legally" count that.  No, my little guy says "to heck with security! I am fearless"!  And he really is.  He will try to climb anything...the couch,the chair,the stool, and more recently the baby gate (Marley always sits on the other side with a smirk on her face,but one day he will actually make it over and we will see who is smiling then). Nothing really stops him. No amount of finger smashes, bruises ,bumps, scrapes, or head whacks deter him.  He is going to do what he is going to do. You know what I mean?  He is,after all the product of both Nathan and I.  It was inevitable that he would march to the beat of his own drummer.  I only hope that I can keep up!

Tired tonight...long day of monkey watching and prepping for school.  More tomorrow. . .

Is it time for Dada to be home yet?

Ethan is like a wild animal today. Lordy. Gnawing on everything in sight, including me.   And the sounds he is making. I don't even want to start with those.  He is trying to walk more today. He grabs a hold of my finger in his little hand and off he goes to the races.  Back and forth. *Wobble,wobble,fall,pull up,wobble wobble*  Right now he is laying flat on his belly on the floor peering into his overturned toy bin doing what seems to be push-ups.  Hey, I can't make this stuff up. I am just telling you what I see.  And, no, I have no idea what he is doing.   I do know that he is mad at me.  There are several reasons for this including,but not limited to: me taking the computer mouse away (to which he launches into a rant not unlike the one in A Christmas Story when the dad's lamp gets broken-you cannot understand what he is saying,but you know it cannot be good), me letting the cat outside (to which he looks at me like I just took his favorite plaything away from him-and I did), me being on the computer writing this blog(to which he stands next to me whining-and trying to sneak the mouse), and me taking the magic marker away from him before he figures out how to get the cap off (shoot, where IS that thing?!?-Oh, wrestled it away from him again, WHEW!)  He is constantly into something and I am constantly taking that "something" away from him or getting him down from that "something" or taking that "something" out of his mouth.  I knew being a mom was not going to be easy,but really ya'll.
On the bright side, I can finally watch the Wiggles without throwing up in my mouth a little bit.
 See. . .I can find the silver lining in every situation.

Battle Cry

Yesterday I took a Ethan on a walk. We have this nice little walking trail behind our house. It winds around a kind of wetlands full of cattails and tall reeds.  It is usually a very pleasant stroll.  On this particular day,however, we inadvertently entered an army of grasshoppers.  By the time I realized what was going on, we were too far in the thick of it. There was no turning back.   It was like we entered a samurai battle.  There were hundreds of them! And they were crazy.   Jumping across the sidewalk in slow motion and catching on to a single blade of grass. We're talking Crouching Tiger,Hidden Dragon stuff.  Everywhere I looked there were grasshoppers. All shapes, colors and sizes. They were to the left.  They were to the right.  They were in front. They were in the back. They were even flying overhead like fighter pilots!  I was outflanked and outnumbered.  I had to make a run for it!  I started strolling as fast as I could, hoping that I would not feel the dreaded *crunch* under my feet of a casualty or two.  One lone grasshopper Kamikaze'd into the stroller.  I swear I heard him yell "BANZAI!" as he careened into the wheel.  I looked back to see him flailing his broken legs. I think he was shaking a fist at me.  In the midst of all this chaos, I look down at Ethan to make sure he was okay. He was leaned back in his seat drinking his milk and seemingly oblivious to the war raging around him. I strolled faster. Sweat dripping down my forehead. Just a little further. Almost there.  Finally I made it to a crossroad and back to the safety of the street.  Looking back down the path, I saw the army staring at me. Daring me to come back. Taunting me,in fact.  I thought for a split second of  turning the stroller back around. I could take them.  This time I would be prepared and not caught off guard.  I was devising my strategy when I happened to glance down.  That's when I saw Ethan drifting off to sleep. That's when I realized "What am I thinking? I need re-enforcements."  So I slowly  made my way back home. Vowing to return another day.  And show those grasshoppers just who they messed with.

The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly

Oh my, my little angel is turning into a devil!  Waking at 4 am refusing to go back to sleep.  And, he has learned the art of the temper tantrum. I mean, overnight, this kid somehow mastered the art of screaming his head off every time he doesn't get his way. He actually invented a new half scream/half yell for the occasion.  He sounds like an animal being attacked. I guess that is his point,but seriously man, it is freaking me out!  I will stand strong though.  I will not let him break me! (I hope)

On another note,the test results came back in his smelly belly. Bacterial infection cleared up with  a 7 day course of antibiotics. So glad I questioned my previous doctor and refused to have a catheter put in my baby.  It just re-enforced my decision to switch providers. Goes to prove that doctors do not always know or do best for anyone but themselves.

And one last thing. There are so many things I could say about my mother,but I will leave it short and sweet and to the point.  She would not want a big fuss.

Dear Mom,
  I appreciate you more and more every day. My family will always be missing something special without you.  I hope and I pray that you are looking down on us and see what a beautiful grandchild you have.  I promise you that I will do my best to raise him with the same security and happiness I felt growing up.  I will tell him every day that I love him,like you did with me.  I will hold him close and shower him with kisses. I will let him know that he had the best grandmother in the world. One who never claimed to be perfect (even though I thought she was).  One who was selfless with her kids. One who always knew the right thing to say or do to make me feel better. One who loved me for all the good and all the bad.. unconditionally.  You were and are my hero.  I aspire to be like you every single day. And,though I may never be half the mom you were, I promise to keep trying. One day at a time. I miss you ,mommy.
Your loving daughter,
CJ

SUNDAY FUNDAY

And miles to go. . .

Walking is hard. I am not sure,watching my son try to master it, how any of us ever got the hang of it.  He wobbles around the room like a clumsy giant bumping into things and knocking over everything in his path. His favorite maneuver is the baby gate to the wall. . ."look,mama, I'm letting go now! Oooo! I didn't fall!". .  .followed by a display of excitement so large that it makes 2004 Red Sox fans seem placid. . .followed by the dismount (loud thud of his butt hitting the floor). And up he goes again! We repeat this several dozen times a day. It is not that he is unmotivated.  He WANTS to do it.  But, alas, he has not mastered some of the basics, yet.  Like balancing. And putting one foot in front of the other. He must take after his Mama.  If you listen to my brother, I didn't crawl until somewhere around my 10th birthday. So, already, Ethan has surpassed my wildest expectations.   I think he dreams about it at night. His little legs moving in his sleep.  Is he dreaming of the day he finally runs to his Dada when he comes home from work. Or that one fateful moment when Marley has her back turned.  "Gotcha!" *giggle*  To tell you the truth, I am kind of happy he hasn't learned to traverse across the room yet. Because, Lord help when when he does!  I am in for one heck of a ride.

Curiouser and Curiouser

I sometimes think Ethan's world is a little like a storybook.  All of these curious creatures and things helping him along his way.   Winnie the Pooh helping soothe him to sleep. His fire truck racing along side of him in his adventures throughout the day.  The sheet that calls him over to play Peek a Boo. He actually holds conversations with these things.  I imagine him telling them about his day. Trying to explain to them why is he upset, or mad, or sad.  I sometimes catch him jabbering away to Pooh (telling him why it is so silly he has to take his nap,of course) in a conversation that only ends with his eyes getting heavy and finally closing. I suppose Pooh Bear offers his sympathy in a way only he could. And lulls him to sleep with stories of the Hundred Acre Woods. And honey.  His fire engine is his running buddy. Back and forth between the rooms, vroom vroom they go, sirens blaring.  Off to some exciting adventure or another, I'm sure. He always seems to find something to get into while playing with it.  That fire engine is a bad influence, I tell you!  We have a sheet hanging down from his window to block some of the hot sun from his nursery. He loves to go over to that sheet and bury his head and play Peek A Boo.  He gets so worked up hiding his little face.  Bouncing up and down on his knees, trying to be taller than he is.  That sheet is his friend. She makes him happy, and excited,and carefree. I can just hear her encouraging him, " you can do it, Ethan! stretch just a little further and you can cover your whole face! way to go!"
It is nice Ethan has these things to play with.  They make him happy and comfortable and daring.  They encourage him to try new things.  And that, to me, is what life is all about.

Giggle Monster

I remember the first time Ethan ever laughed. It scared him so bad he started crying.

These days,however, he is officially a giggle monster.  This kid will giggle at anything and everything!It is amazing to see a giggle monster up close.  Nothing is too big or too small to elicit the giggle.

Bird flying by the window?

 *giggle*

Mama stubbing her toe?

 *giggle*

 Falling and bumping his head?

 *cry* *giggle* *cry* *giggle*

The best giggles are the ones brought out through tears. They make everyone want to giggle.It warms the heart to see your child find such happiness in small things.  It makes you wish you could go back to simpler times and find everything amusing.

Car broke down?

*giggle*

Can't find your keys?

*giggle*

No money to pay your bills?

*cry* *giggle* *cry* *giggle

Somehow it just does not work that way. Too bad. It  would make life a lot more fun!

The giggle monster is an amazingly unique creature who I am sure will not stay long. He will disappear to make room for the Demanding Dude and Too-tired Toddler.  Oh, but what fun it will be while it lasts!

Hunters and Gatherers

I have discovered today,quite by accident, that there are two types of babies: hunters and gatherers.
 Hunters are the babies you see out at restaurants screaming at the top of their lungs, throwing things everywhere, and demanding full attention be placed on them.  When in groups of other children, they hunt out the toys that are already being played with. They stalk them like prey and swoop in and take what is "rightly theirs".  They make no apologies for who they are. They are loud and proud! It is their primal instinct to dominate.
Gatherers are quite different. They quietly observe the chaos around them and try to make sense of it.  They get a little unnerved at the rambunctious hunters around them.  They sit contently playing with the toys they have gathered around them until. . .suddenly. . . out of nowhere. . ."hey! where did my toy just go?!?".  Confused and a little annoyed they begin to whimper,then cry until. . ."wait, what is that shiny thing over there. . ."

Finally, some sense

Just got back from my second opinion doctor,who is now my primary doctor for Ethan.  According to her, my child has. . . . .a smelly belly!  She did not think urine was leaking out of it or that he needed a catheter.  She did take a swab to send off to the lab to make sure everything is okay.  Now, if it comes back and the first doctor was right, I will deal with it. But at least we took some non-invasive steps beforehand.

On to other breaking news.
Ethan had his first experience with peas and cornbread today for lunch!
For anyone not Southern, that is where you cook black-eyed peas and a batch of buttermilk cornbread. You take the cornbread and mash it up with the peas and add pea juice. Yes, I said pea juice, people. It is the best thing ever invented. I grew up on it. So will Ethan. He absolutely loved it! So glad to see that my Colorado boy has some Southern roots ingrained in him. Makes me wish sweet tea wasn't so bad for him!  Maybe just a little bit won't hurt. . .

The Mighty No-Napper

I have spent an hour and a half before trying to get Ethan down for a nap.

The actual nap lasted 20 minutes.

Am I the only one out there who finds it so completely confusing that when a baby needs sleep, they actually get more energy.  I have read every book under the sun.  They all tell me something different.  So, basically,no matter what I do, I am wrong.  Even as we speak, the mighty no-napper is in his crib squealing like a creature half dinosaur and half monkey.  Every so often he starts yelling my name.

"MAMAMAMA"

Eventually he will fall asleep. The morning naps are the least difficult. 

And I have noticed that he cries less if I leave his nursery door open. 

The problem with that is that he hangs on to the hope that, any second, his Mama will come back in to play.   If I close the door, he gets extremely unhappy, but cries himself to sleep in a matter of minutes. Which route do I go? 

 I guess it depends on the day.

The sleeping baby is an elusive creature in the daylight hours.  By the sound of it, I think I may have found one. I do believe the mighty no-napper has fallen (asleep,that is)!

Okay, really doctors?

So, apparently a smelly belly is no laughing matter. According to the doctor, Ethan has "a defect of the bladder. When a baby grows inside the womb, the urachus will normally close. If the urachus fails to close, you need to have a surgery performed to close it. Having an abnormal opening between the bladder and the area where the umbilical cord was removed, will increase the risk for bladder infections."


The doctor figured all of this out in the 2 minutes she took to look at him. She actually left the room to take a phone call and came back telling me my child needed surgery..but first he needs a catheter to inject dye and get an ultrasound done. This was 30 minutes after she left and I had to remind the nurse we were there. The doctor forgot we were there!  Needless to say, we are going to get a second opinion tomorrow. Really doctor? You tell me my son is leaking urine from his belly; and catheter and dye injecting are your initial thoughts. Not, say,maybe a swab to see if my son has urine in his belly button?  Nothing to rule anything else out before wanting me to have such an invasive procedure done to my 10 month old?!? 

That's fine. I think you have lost your freaking mind. Better order a lobotomy to be safe!

First Post

Let me just say, right off the bat, that I do not claim to be the world's best mom. I am not advocating any parenting style in this blog. I am simply telling the tale of our lives.

So, I am a first time mother of a very precocious 10 month old son. His name is Ethan Taylor and he is a handful. This blog is all about our adventures (and non-adventures) while I am being a stay at home mom and taking online courses in medical coding.

Today's adventure begins with a trip to the doctor.  Now this is embarrassing for me because it has to do with my kid being smelly.  Ethan has contracted what I dub as the world's worst smelly belly button. Wow! You can smell this thing across the room (maybe a little exaggeration, but not much). I will let you all know when I get back from the doctor. I am convinced it is something that I did. Did I give him one too many wet willies? Did I not clean it well enough? Oh my god, am I THAT parent that lets her kid be dirty and smelly all the time?!?
More to come. . .